glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
