I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize