I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
