Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
