yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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