i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
