I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am one with the molecules
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
