i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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