Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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