Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize