Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.

(1-805): View more from California

You do realize that you broke up with him, right?

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(805): I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose. (1-805): You do realize that you broke up with him, right? http://tfl.nu/4u3s

Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (2734)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory

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(913): You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory http://tfl.nu/s661

Replies (15) Good night (4172) Bad night (733)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(402): meow (1-402): WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD. http://tfl.nu/2v4y

Replies (96) Good night (5099) Bad night (1513)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia

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(978): I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia http://tfl.nu/pfmm

Replies (9) Good night (4749) Bad night (1015)
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(972): View more from Texas

I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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(972): I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed http://tfl.nu/xlf6

Replies (8) Good night (3894) Bad night (1172)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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(443): Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree? http://tfl.nu/odr7

Replies (10) Good night (3055) Bad night (1019)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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(570): I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed http://tfl.nu/7vip

Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (1068)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.

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(479): I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home. http://tfl.nu/yjx8

Replies (13) Good night (1725) Bad night (741)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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(785): Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks. http://tfl.nu/e26o

Replies (8) Good night (613) Bad night (1242)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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(704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt

Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (730)
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(334): View more from Alabama

She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper

(205): View more from Alabama

Restraining order pending?

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(334): She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper (205): Restraining order pending? http://tfl.nu/xpcn

Replies (6) Good night (1386) Bad night (620)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."

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(201): I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl." http://tfl.nu/ji6j

Replies (4) Good night (2021) Bad night (675)
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(315): View more from New York

HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!

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(315): HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT! http://tfl.nu/pd33

Replies (13) Good night (543) Bad night (1078)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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(248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt

Replies (0) Good night (723) Bad night (413)
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(903): View more from Texas

And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

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(903): And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention http://tfl.nu/er1v

Replies (1) Good night (962) Bad night (339)

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