Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
