Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize