'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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