I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
