I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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