How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
