worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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