If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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