I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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