Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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