Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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