Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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