Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
