Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
