Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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