They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
