Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
