I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize