I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
