i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
