Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
