Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
