We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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