i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
