the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
