he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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