You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
