I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
