Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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