Please, let me fuck your mom
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
