i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
