It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
