I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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