somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
