I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
