I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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