is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
