I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
