You smell like stripper and shame
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
