Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
