talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize