What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
