My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Pooping to opera.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
