After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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