I heard we made out
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
