i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
