i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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