That's when you crack a 10am beer
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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