For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
