please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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