This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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