somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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