Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
