Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize