Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
