we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
organizing the empties. That sober.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
