ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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