You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
