Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
